Today the girls have a quick chat about the fears around having a second kid. Some of the fears they had, some fears their friends have had, and what society has said that feeds into stereotypical feelings around added another kid to your family. They also share some cool statistics about having a second kid.
- I was TERRIFIED
- I did not feel ready and honestly the adjustment from 1-2 has been super difficult. People say that the adjustment from 2-3 is much easier, but i’m just trusting that because i’m not doing this again. Hahahah
- I don’t think we always acknowledge that people are worried about not giving all their time to one child. We always just jump right into….oh the second one will come and you’ll just love them and it’ll be great. Let’s acknowledge those feelings though because i experienced a lot of struggle surrounding this but felt stupid because i was suppose to just love my new baby.
FUN FACTS ABOUT HAVING TWO CHILDREN
(facts found on researchaddict.com)
- Having two children reduces mortality risk. Three different studies looked at thousands of older adults and found the same thing: two kids was the sweet spot for health. The risk of an early death increases by 18% for parents of an only child. Also, the risk is higher for parents of three or more kids. Scientists believe the lifestyle of parents with two kids somehow helps them live longer.
- In America, a second child costs about $10,230 per year. This is the average for married couples, and is in addition to the cost of the first child.
- Sad news: parents report less satisfaction in their marriages than non-parents. And marital satisfaction decreases with every additional child. The effect is strongest for mothers of infants, but is found across all ages and in both men and women.
Multiple studies duplicate this negative effect. Parents of preschoolers report the lowest levels of satisfaction with their partners.
So, preserving couple time every day to connect and maintaining a date night may prevent the stress a second child puts on your marriage.
- One surprising finding: in married women (but not in unmarried women), a second child reduces the risk of suicide. A third or fourth child reduces the risk even further. Perhaps, despite any increase in stress level, having a larger family strengthens your sense of purpose and resolve.
- Researchers tracked people in Russia for over 20 years and found that parents were actually happier after the birth of their second baby. With their first child, life satisfaction dipped for several years, then increased to levels higher than before. But a second child steadily increased happiness. Life satisfaction never dipped after the second birth, and happiness continued to increase as they grew up.
Listen to our March MAMA Minisode – Fears of Having a Second Baby on the Crib Commute Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!